Turns out gouache is like a cross between watercolor, acrylic and chalk - water it down, layer it on, reactivate it with water. It's a hoot! A veritable hoot, I tell you!
Anyway, that painting may or may not be a work in progress. As with many other things, unless it's a food with the potential of giving me severe intestinal discomfort or brain flukes, if I just make a decision that it’s done, it's done. It's complete. If I decide it *needs something*, then I can't shake the feeling that it still needs some work – I could remove the dots on the. um. thumbnimalsTM, outline the objects against the background, add a few details… all sorts of things can look like they need tweaking. But really, it’s just a decision that changes my perspective completely. Or a perspective that changes my decision.
Soooooo... the other day, a dear friend of mine told me he was a work in progress.
My reaction to people saying that is always kinda like what I’d imagine it would be to be a slug and having salt poured into the core of your being. I shrink a bit, start to sizzle and begin to die a slow, agonizing death. Teeth and hair are the last to go, and isn’t that a kindness, let me tell you what.
BEGIN RANT Reverend CXG needs a nap.
The phrase "work in progress," when used to describe a being, implies - well, it implies a lot of bullcrap:
- There is a model of perfection, and you're just not it, sorry.
- There is something wrong with you – you must work to correct all of the wrong things.
- The Wrongness Correction Project (WCP) will someday (any day now, but any day but now) be complete
- You won’t be complete until the WCP is complete, and then you’ll be all shiny and smooth and everyone will like you and you’ll be confident and have porcelain teeth and not smell anymore. And rich, too! (Confidence!) And probably have magical healing powers.
It’s only a banana. Don’t fall for it.
Future you isn't better than the past you, and visa versa. Nobody's better than anyone else. Not even that person you’re thinking about right now, even if they've always been painted with a halo or can move stuff from across the room. Some humans are just in more pain and acting out of more fear than others.
Leastways, that's how I feel about it.
If you buy the idea that there’s something to live up to, there will always be something to fix - and that's how you'll see everything. If, on the other hand, you drop your focus from perceived flaws and bring your attention back to the infinitely generous open space at the eye of your hurricane and relax here, you land, perfect, right where you’ve always been, and love begins to inform everything you do and everything you experience, naturally.
The sun doesn't shine to fix darkness, y'know?
And, by the by, happy spring! I discovered my shiny new scanner isn't big enough. I mean - I knew that, but I was still sad when I had forgotten about it and took this painting over to it to scan. When your memory's bad, lots of things are surprises. Every moment is a discovery! So, I'm still using my camera phone for larger pieces: